I’ve had a lot going on recently. Between running a business, training for half marathons, and keeping up with friends and family, a girl can get a little overwhelmed.
It finally occurred to me: “Lara, you have big plans. You need to call in the big guns.”
So I asked for support. Not help. Support.
Here’s the difference (for those who are averse to asking for help…yeah, me too):
Help is active, as in “lend a helping hand.” Help sometimes just DOES IT FOR YOU.
1) Support is observational. It’s passive, motivational strength, transferred to you by someone who’s invested in your success, who creates space for you to be successful…UNDER YOUR OWN STEAM.
I don’t doubt my intelligence or my ability to get done what I need to get done (most of the time); but, like all of us, I need a little push sometimes. So I got a coach. I enrolled in a business seminar. I reached out to others going through the same thing. I reminded myself that even the most brilliant minds in business, education, politics, science, whatever, need a support system – a mentor, a community, a coach on occasion (if not all the time).
Support doesn’t do the work for you. That’s your job…always.
2) Support is about propping you up when you’re pooped out; or shining the light of clarity when you’re overwhelmed; or cutting through the crap when you can’t see the end of your own nose for all the ideas, to-dos, and should-dos flowing through your brain.
It’s about making you do the work, with a firm but loving hand. Support means saying things like “Wow, I hadn’t thought of it that way…thanks.” and hearing your support person – your “coach” – say “You’re welcome, but I didn’t do anything. The answer was in your head all along.”
3) Coaches help us go from good to great.
Coaches, whether they call themselves coaches or not, keep the world moving.
Think about it. How’d you learn how to tie your shoes? Mom and Dad coached you through it. How’d you learn how to read, do math, draw? Mrs. Studebaker in the fourth grade coached you through it (well, she coached ME through it…you have your own Mrs. Studebaker). How’d you make it through your first race? Your coach encouraged, instructed, cheered, and pushed you to the finish line.
Why is it so inconceivable that a coach might help us reach milestones in our adult lives too? Are we really so full of ourselves as grown-ups that we think we can do it “all by myself.” (I was a preschool teacher once. “No! By myself!!” was a frequent refrain in my classroom of two-year-olds. Just sayin’.)
So if you feel overwhelmed by something in your life, by something you’ve been wanting to do, change, or achieve. If you feel stuck. If you feel, well, HUMAN…consider asking for a little support. For this coach, it was the most intelligent and grown-up decision I’ve made all year.
Leave a comment and tell me three things you could ask for a little support on today.
