Woohoo! Fall is finally here. Time for pumpkin EVERYTHING. 😉
I talked last week about making a list of fall projects, just to get them out of your head so you could enjoy your last summer weekend.
Now it’s time to sort out the details, right?
And if you have a major life change on your list of things to tackle (like getting healthier, maybe?), I’d bet my pumpkin pancakes you’re feeling a little freaked out.
I hear you. I have a few of those on my list too…little things like being more compassionate to myself (soooooo hard when you’re a perfectionist like me!) and hitting a major milestone in my business.
These seven things can stop us in our tracks when we’re ready for a major shift. Read on to find out how to move past them, stay motivated, and get to the good stuff.
- Creating a “grand plan.” When we set goals, it’s so tempting to shoot for the stars, go big or go home, etc. We’re caught up in the freshness and excitement of new beginnings, and that’s exhilarating. I’m all for having big how-in-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-that goals – I firmly believe that those kinds of “aspirational goals” are sometimes necessary for real change to happen. BUT, especially when you’re setting health goals, small changes last longer. Skip the “grand plan” – like “I’m going to exercise every day for the rest of my life” (no you’re not…and that’s okay!) – and go for something you know you can achieve but that inspires you at the same time – like I’m going to try a new kind of exercise every week for the rest of the year so I can find one I love.
- Not planning at all. Okay, so I know I just bashed planning; but some planning is a must if you want to get to your goal. My best piece of advice – whether you have a health goal, business goal, or personal goal – is to use your calendar. If you want to eat healthier, for example, put meal planning and prep time on your calendar. If you want to exercise more, put your workouts on your calendar. If you want to reduce stress, put meditation time on your calendar. Putting things on your calendar makes them non-negotiable appointments…plus it motivates you to make them long-term habits.
- Expecting instant gratification. We all want things done yesterday. And we look for instant results, like losing 10 pounds in a week or having ripped biceps in three days or getting a promotion after only six weeks in our new job. We KNOW it’s not reasonable to expect it, but we want it anyway. (I’d REALLY like to have a multi-million dollar business. Now, please.) That desire for instant gratification can totally derail us when we don’t see the results we want quickly. Instead of focusing on things that take a little while to kick in, let’s focus on the things that do happen quickly. Like more energy, better sleep, and less sugar cravings when we start exercising more. Or happier digestion when we start eating right. Noticing these incremental changes – and celebrating them! – is the short cut to staying motivated to reach your bigger goals.
- Not breathing. Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt therapy, said of fear: “Fear is excitement without the breath.” Getting stuck in fear – of failure, of change, of success – is a serious motivation killer. The best way I know to convert fear to excitement (which is far more motivating) is to just breathe…deeply. Check out my favorite breathing exercise at the beginning of this video.
- Having all the answers. When I embark on any journey – literal or figurative – I try really hard to slip into “beginner’s mind,” seeing things as if for the first time and staying open to the experience. (Yes, it’s hard.) For example, my little self-compassion experiment. I’m thinking that, on some level, I’m an “expert” in compassion. I mean, I spend my days listening to the challenges of others, empathizing with them, and helping them get to their goals. I’m a compassionate person, right? (If you disagree, just keep it to yourself until I’ve developed enough self-compassion to weather your criticism, okay? 😉 Turns out, I don’t know jack about being compassionate to myself (which, by the way, makes it tough to be as compassionate as I probably should be to other people). Anyway…my point is…I have a lot to learn about something I kind of thought I knew a lot about. Thinking we have all the answers can cut us off from possibility and make working towards our goals feel mundane really fast. Staying curious is much more motivating.
- Expecting perfection. So, yeah, I know I mentioned earlier that I’m a bit of a perfectionist; so I speak from experience when I tell you that expecting yourself to be perfect all the time – especially when you’re trying to make a major shift in your life – is a complete motivation killer. You’re human. You will mess up. It’s cool. Celebrate what goes well. Be compassionate with yourself when you mess up. And keep going. I’ll be right there with you.
- Going it alone. Another experience familiar to those of us with high expectations of ourselves: the “I can do it myself!!” trap. Oh boy, have I had to work on this in the past few years. Sure, I could run a half marathon, lose weight, get in shape, start a business, conquer my sugar cravings, etc. on my own; but wouldn’t it be faster, more fun, and more motivating to do it with people who can guide me, support me, and hold me accountable for my goals? I can say with 100% confidence that every time I’ve gotten out of my own way and asked for support in reaching my goals, I’ve reached them faster, with less internal drama, and with more lasting results. Like when I joined Team in Training to run my first half marathon. Or, more recently, when I joined a business mentoring program run by my brilliant friend Nathalie Lussier. Sure, I could go it alone; but why would I when there are people who can help me cut through the clutter and get to my goals faster (and more permanently)?
Now I’d love to hear from you! Tell me in the comments:
- Which of these motivation killers do you find yourself falling victim to most often?
- What have you done to break free and move forward?
P.S. If you’re tired of going it alone in your quest to look and feel your best (and of not getting the results you want), I’d be honored to help.
Lots of warm and fuzzy fall love,
