Your alarm clock goes off. You reach for your iPhone to check your email. Your mind races with thoughts of everything you have to do. (The mind racing started before the alarm clock went off.)
You bound out of bed and realize there’s no way you’ll get that run –– or anything else resembling exercise – in this morning. You promise yourself you’ll work out this afternoon.
You hop in the shower, throw on some clothes, kiss your man good bye. You grab a bagel –– “You really need to cut back on carbs,” says the judgy voice in your head – and race to the office.
As you settle in at your desk, you realize that you forgot to bring lunch (again). You’ll run out later to get something – maybe at the deli or Chinese food truck down the street.
The day speeds by. You’re so busy and stressed out that you forget to eat. You drink three cups of coffee and eat at least five – ten? – pieces of candy from the candy jar on your co-worker’s desk to make it through the hours.
You leave the office later than you planned (so much for exercise), starved and wondering what the hell you’ll make for dinner. You get home, chow down on last night’s pizza, crawl into bed with your iPhone to check any last emails from the office, and finally doze off.
Work-life balance? Right!
I’ll let you in on a secret: Work-life balance doesn’t exist.
The more we put artificial walls between work and life, the less able we are to “balance” the two.
I propose a reframe: Work-life integration.
Even employers see the benefit of employees integrating personal and professional. “Companies that can help their employees navigate both their professional and personal lives are likely to see strong employee engagement and enjoy an advantage as they recruit and retain high performers,” according to a study from management consulting firm, Accenture.
But where to start? I have a few ideas. (Imagine that. 😉
Ditch the work to-do list and the personal to-do list. You deserve a YOU to-do list – for the whole you.
Prioritize your list as if there’s no separation between work and personal. There isn’t. It’s YOUR LIFE.
If you have a moment of inspiration for a personal project while you’re at the office, let it flow. Putting a stopper in it because “you shouldn’t be thinking about personal stuff at work” means a) it might not come back and b) you’re distracted by it, making you useless to your employer anyway. (I’m a HUGE fan of Evernote for capturing such moments of inspiration when they strike.)
Start a running or walking club at the office. Who says you can’t all take a spin around the lake after lunch? If your boss questions how letting you get some exercise in the middle of the work day helps the bottom line, show her this article in the Harvard Business Review.
Make a friend in HR and get a Molly’s fridge for your office. Molly’s makes sure you always have healthy food on hand so you don’t have to fall back on the Chinese food truck.
Try a service like Nature Box or Nibblr to get healthy snacks delivered to your desk. Or use websites like this one or this one and make your own.
As soon as you let go of the illusion that work and home are alternate realities, you’ll prioritize the things that matter.
[ctt title=”Work and home aren’t alternate realities. Prioritize the things that matter.” tweet=”Work and home aren’t alternate realities. Prioritize the things that matter. http://ctt.ec/61YmN+ via @laradalch” coverup=”61YmN”]
Instead of getting work done first and feeling pissed off that your personal priorities never happen, you’ll focus on the things that allow you to work less and get more done. (Tim Ferriss is a master at productivity hacking. Check out his now classic book, The Four Hour Workweek, for his slightly crazy but effective ideas.)
I get it. This one’s tough. We’re so used to separation of church and state – work and home – that we lose sight of the big picture.
And I’m not suggesting that we let our iPhone invade our Sunday night dinners or novel-reading on the beach.
But bringing the personal into our work – without guilt – honors the truth of our being people first, workers second. (Which is still true, even if you’re in love with your work).
It took me a LONG time – and a move away from hyper-achievement-oriented NYC + the ultimate work-life balancing act of running my own business – to understand that integration was the goal.
Bruce Lee famously said “Be the water.”
“Water can flow. Or it can crash.”
Bruce was talking about mastering martial arts, but I like the analogy for work-life integration.
Stop trying to compartmentalize. Let your life flow together instead of crashing up against imaginary walls. It works better that way.
And it’s way less stressful than imposing false boundaries on your fluid life.
xo,
