I’ve always believed – even before I knew I believed it – that true health is about much more than what you put in your mouth and how you move your body.
That stuff is so, so important; but if everything else in your life is falling apart (or even just a little out of balance), I’d bet my favorite pair of Stuart Weitzman pumps that you’re struggling to reach your health goals.
So, today, I want to ask you about one of the other parts of true health: Are you connected?
I don’t mean in a Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, networking sort of way. I mean in a deep, inner, connected to yourself and your needs kind of way; and in an equally important connected to your friends, family, and community and their needs sort of way.
One of my “words of the year” for 2013 is Community. Six months into the year, I’m seeing how incredibly important that word is and how my community (or my people, as I like to call them) bolsters my health in a way that food and exercise alone never could.
A few thoughts on how to strengthen connection in your life – to yourself and to your “people.”
Your body will thank you when you do. I promise.
- Say yes more. I’m a pretty opinionated girl (if you hadn’t noticed). If I don’t agree with you, you’ll hear about it. 😉 While having an opinion is fine, I’m learning that finding agreement – even when you disagree with someone – does wonders for your relationships. Think about the last time your best friend or partner said or did something you didn’t love. What if, instead of jumping right to “No, you’re wrong.”, you took a few seconds to reframe things and chose to say instead “Yes, that’s an interesting angle/way of doing it. I also think…”. No one’s right; no one’s wrong. “Yes…and…” is additive instead of destructive. And things are rarely as black and white as we think. Living in a place of agreement is a state of mind, one that I’m pretty sure we can learn with enough practice. (I’m workin’ on it!)
- Listen more. Oh boy, is this a tough one. How often are you “listening” to someone when you find yourself wrapped up in your own thoughts, waiting for your chance to chime in? Not so great for connecting with the person across the table from you, huh? I sometimes think I have a harder time with this by virtue of the fact that my job is 90% about listening to my clients. It’s as if, by the time I get to my personal relationships, I’ve “used up” all of my listening skills! My best advice for you here is to practice being present every moment of your day. Do whatever you have to do to bring your mind back into your body (instead of floating out in space) by wiggling your toes or noticing how your fingers feel as you type on your computer or taking a deep, belly breath and really feeling how the air moves up through your body to your lungs. It’s a constant struggle; but if you can stay present on your own, you’ll be better able to stay present with others.
- Be strong…and gentle. My friend Kathy and I were lamenting over this one the other day: “Why is it so hard to be strong AND gentle at the same time?!,” I asked. As independent women, we struggle with this one every day: How do I stay true to who I am and also find gentleness and compromise when it comes to other people? I’m all about feminism to a point; but, like any ideology, it can be taken to the extreme. Kathy’s analogy to water sort of summed it up for me: Water is gentle and malleable (like a babbling brook); it’s also strong and powerful (like a river carving its own bed over thousands of years). Being both helps us bring value to the lives of our people while simultaneously allowing for deeper connection when we’re gentle enough to bend a little. (Kathy’s other analogy came via text the next day: Jello squares. It’s like Jello squares…they’re soft and flexible, but they still keep their shape!) 🙂
- Practice yoga. At the risk of sounding a little hippy dippy, yoga is the best way I know to find enough stillness to get clear about my own needs while simultaneously opening my heart to the needs of others…and to receiving their efforts to connect with me. (Receiving is sometimes tougher than giving, don’t you think?) In an effort to be a little less stressed out and a little more pleasant to be around, I just committed to 30 days of yoga. Every day in June. Join me?
- Cultivate grace. I love the word “grace.” It just sounds so lovely; and to me, it implies a state of stillness and redemption…a respite from chaos meant to help you sharpen your focus on what’s important so you can move through whatever challenges you’re dealing with and come out the other side happier and healthier…and more connected to the people in your life.
Feeling connected may actually be the single most important ingredient for health. (I’m sure there’s some research somewhere to back that up. Feel free to share it in the comments if you have a link.) The midpoint of the year seems like a good time to recommit to getting better at it, don’t you think?
Tell me in the comments:
- What connections/relationships in your life could use a little attention right now?
- What’s one thing you can do this week to strengthen those connections?
With gratitude for having you as one of my people,
