I’ve noticed something with my clients lately (and – if I’m being honest – for years):
Their ability to reach their goals has less to do with the nuts and bolts of our work (i.e., food, exercise, sleep, all that good stuff)…
… and more to do with how they APPROACH the work of feeling healthier and more vibrant.
These powerful women understand that their perspective makes or breaks their ability to reach their goals.
Here’s what I mean. (Names changed, of course.)
Let’s take my client Laura, for example.
Laura is frustrated because she’s tried diet after diet. Workout program after workout program. But she can’t seem to get any sustainable results.
Laura feels sort of “meh” about her life. Raising her son taxes her parenting skills. Her new job doesn’t feel like a good fit (even though she took it to escape the last job that wasn’t the right fit). She’d like to find love, but her desire to do anything about it comes and goes.
Things are fine, but she wants MORE than fine. And she wants to lose 30 pounds, because losing 30 pounds will change everything, right?
And she’s felt like this on and off for most of her adult life. (Laura is in her 40s.)
Laura is stuck. Not only that, but she wants someone – anyone! – to tell her how to fix it. With formulas and diets and numbers and S.M.A.R.T goals.
But she’s unwilling to look at things more holistically…
…to look below the surface at what’s really going on and how she’s getting in her own way.
…to put aside the voice that says “but I already KNOW that!” and consider that the calorie counts and exercise plans and healthy eating/living “facts” that she knows aren’t the key to getting to her goals. (If they were, she’d have succeeded already, with the latest formulas and diets and numbers and S.M.A.R.T. goals as her guide.)
Laura is unable to make room for the possibility that nothing external will ever show her the way – because “wellness” is an inside job. And “winning” the wellness game is about a lot more than diet and exercise.
And so she stays stuck. Grasping for yet another workout routine (because the last one “doesn’t inspire her anymore”) or fad diet to “fix” her life.
(Laura wasn’t a client for long, unfortunately.)
Then there’s Carrie.
Carrie is just as frustrated as Laura was when we first speak. She’s also tried diet after diet, exercise program after exercise program – with no sustainable results.
She too feels challenged by parenting two young boys. She loves her work, but it’s physically and mentally exhausting sometimes – leaving her little energy to take care of her family, let alone herself.
She can’t seem to lose those last 10 pounds of baby weight either. Ugh! “This isn’t who I am,” Carrie says.
Carrie is stuck. Overwhelmed. Disappointed in herself. And tired. Soooooo tired.
She’s nervous (and a little skeptical) about trying to feel better with less restrictions and more flexibility.
In fact, she spends her first couple of weeks in my Vibrant Health Playbook program asking me for formulas and exact amounts of steps she should take and specific calorie counts. (I get it. We’ve all been there!)
The difference?
Carrie is OPEN to new ways of thinking about her self-care and her life. She’s EXCITED to experiment with different ways of eating and moving and thinking. She’s flexible in her approach to reaching her goals (or is learning to be, anyway). 🙂
And she’s willing to do the inside work of tuning into her own body to find the way to her goals.
Carrie gets results almost immediately. She feels less bloated and more energetic.
She begins exercising more often.
She’s excited about the new, healthy foods she’s eating and sharing with her family.
And she’s immediately motivated to keep going as a result. In fact, Carrie is having fun with the process!
Now, that’s not to say that Carrie doesn’t have bad days – she’s human, after all. But her ability to keep an open mind and approach the process with curiosity and flexibility allows her to bounce back from setbacks and keep on trying (and to keep having fun!).
So… are you Laura or Carrie?
Are you so stuck that you can’t (or won’t) consider that your mindset about reaching your goals is affecting your ability to reach them?
Or are you open to digging underneath the surface, understanding how things other than food and exercise might be affecting your weight loss or fitness goals? Are you open to taking a step back from regimented programs that promise immediate (unsustainable) results and trying a curiosity-driven, flexible (and sustainable) approach instead? (Like the one I guide my clients through in my Vibrant Health Playbook program.)
Look, I’m not judging. In fact, we’ve ALL been both Laura and Carrie at different points in our lives.
But I’d bet that – if you really think about it – the times when you reached your goals involved a combination of structure and flexibility. Of pushing and letting go. Of setting concrete goals and leaving room for curiosity, exploration, surprise.
If you feel like Laura – frustrated by your lack of results and stuck grasping for the newest diet or exercise formula to finally “fix you” – I encourage you to ask yourself one simple question:
What’s going on in there?
And by “in there” I mean in your body, yes, but in your mind, too.
In your quest to be healthy, are you paying attention only to external ideas about how food and exercise “should” work?
Are you convinced that the only way you’ll get results is by finding just the right restrictive diet or punishing exercise program?
Or are you tuning into what works for YOU – including how your career, your relationships, and even your spiritually (whatever that means for you) affect your ability to create sustainable change in your health?
Whether you want to lose weight, have more energy, or just feel healthy and confident again, GO INSIDE. That’s where you’ll find your answers.
xo,
